Sunday, November 17, 2013

Adventures in Pregnancy

Pregnancy is the most bizarre experience I've ever had. I'm in complete control and yet lack any control all at the same time. I feel simultaneously hungry and full. I've never felt so womanly, yet I've never felt less feminine. It's incredibly weird and difficult to describe, but I wanted to share with you some of the many lessons I've learned over the last eight months:

Pregnancy symptoms are cliché, novel, and unique all at once.
Yes, I had nausea during my first trimester like everyone says they do. Yes, my second trimester was a breeze just like everyone else's. Yes, this third trimester has been uncomfortable and fatiguing just like every book out there said it would be. But you know what else? I cannot stop hiccuping. Or burping. I also have no filter and so I say things that I would normally keep inside my head. And my sense of smell is heightened, which makes my sense of taste superhuman. I haven't really had specific cravings, but some foods just taste amazing. Like orange juice. And there was this one time that Daddy's friend Dan made us spaghetti with a tomato ragu, and I literally drank the sauce. He didn't know about you yet, and a less oblivious person (like a woman) would have totally called me on it. He figured it out eventually.

Maternity clothes are awful.
Even the high-end, expensive ones are frumpy. Apparently, designers believe that it's not just bellies (and possibly hips) that expand during pregnancy, but also shoulders. Target and Old Navy have some cute ones, but the quality is pretty terrible. For example, I have one tank top from Old Navy that is so unevenly cut, the straps have about an inch difference between them. It's fine, it was $5 and I just pinned the long strap. But still. I found this one really great British company called Asos. They make really cute maternity clothes that are reasonably priced and fit well, but they'll only fit for a few weeks.

Pregnancy hormones don't just make you weepy.
I was rarely weepy. I was, however, anxious/angry/impatient/frustrated/confused/agitated.

Sometimes, pregnancy is hard.
During my first trimester, I vividly remember feeling like, "Work is hard! I'm tired! And it's really hard using my brain to work AND study when my attention is so poor right now because of all this fatigue. WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO JUST NOOOT WORK?!" Of course, I love my job and my career, and this is not what I ever truly wanted, but this was the first time I ever really felt this way and I felt ridiculously guilty about it because I fancy myself a feminist. If you ever find yourself feeling like this someday, I'm not going to tell you to not feel guilty because that can be impossible in that moment. Acknowledge your feelings, and move on. This kind of negativity is usually fleeting, anyway.

Prenatal vitamins don't make everyone's hair fantastic.
I really hope you get your daddy's hair.

Feeling you kick was exactly everything it was cracked up to be.
I'd like to say that feeling you kick for the first time was one of the greatest moments of my life, but I'd be lying. At first, I wasn't sure what that feeling was! Once I got used to it though, it was absolutely amazing. I'd feel you most first thing in the morning, so sometimes I'd just lie in bed for a little bit longer just to absorb the fact that you were learning how to move and strengthening all those muscles. As we got bigger, the kicks became crazy! Sometimes, I could even poke at you and you'd poke me back!

Your daddy is the greatest man in the entire universe.
I knew this already, but recently he's shown me how wonderful he is in a million new ways. Did you know that he brought me breakfast in bed every day during my first trimester? Sometimes I was too nauseated to get up and fix something for myself, so he'd bring me my dry cereal and ginger ale. When I was dealing with unreasonable pregnancy anxiety, he knew to tell me that it wasn't me and it was just the hormones. This helped put it all in perspective that these feelings were necessary to help you grow. On the other hand, when I felt burnt out and sensitive towards the end, he knew to tell me that these feelings were real and wouldn't it be great if the world would expect a little less of me? He brought me tulips in November after a rough week. He went to every single doctor's appointment, no matter how early in the morning:

Your daddy does all of these things not only because he loves me so much, but because he loves you already and you're not even here yet. Pregnancy is full of ups and downs, and it's all worth it because you're the end result!

1 comment:

  1. Tears of compassion and rememberance and sympathy and joy rolling down my face. Bless you my darling daughter, for you are now a mother & know it was all worth it <3